There’s something heroic that happens when your toes converge with the edge of fear, when they graze the line between safety and all out war. Because you jump. Of course you jump. You jump because you must. You jump because of the maybe. And you see nothing but dirt beneath your feet. You see nothing but the crash landing and the broken bones. But you jump.
And while you focus on the fall, you forget that you might fly. You forget about the sun and the clouds and the breeze, because you see only the soil and the fear and the plummet. But you jump anyway, don’t you? Because while the ground seems inevitable, something inside looks up at that big, blue horizon and says, “what if?” So, you jump for the “if.” And sometimes you just might find the answer you never expected. Right there — soaring on the other end of fear.
There are times that I forget I’m there — flying so high that my feet have nearly forgotten how to land. But the truth is that I’d never have the chance to fly had I never fallen in the first place. Because you must be willing to fall in order to know that you can fly.
But I see it so clearly now, how each plunge into the unknown landed us right where we were meant to be. How our move to Georgia provided us with the opportunity for better healthcare, how our move back to California landed me in the office of a doctor who didn’t write me off like all of the doctors I had seen before, how that same doctor led me to the very surgery that finally fixed our years of infertility. I see it now, how all of the falls led us to you.
But I fought them all — the falls. When my toes brushed the edge of fear, they grasped so tightly to the safety of the dirt beneath them that they nearly developed permanent blisters. It’s silly, really. Looking back now I see that we had to fall. We had to fall deep into fear. Because each of those falls landed us in a specific place for a specific purpose. And though scary, I count it all worth it — all of the jumps, all of the fear, all of the unknowns. They were all worth it. Because here you are. Right where you were always meant to be.
Jumping is scary. Do it anyway.